The Prodigal Dental Student Graduates

Photos throughout this post attempt to reflect the many happenings since the beginning of the year, throughout my last semester of dental school.

More frequent visits to the service laboratory at the dental school prompted me to coordinate a Service Laboratory Technician Appreciation Day (as well as a biographical article highlighting each member of the team for the school newsletter) which was well-attended by students, faculty, and staff. The lab techs seemed warmed by the event and have permanently moved the poster of appreciation to their break room after displaying it in the hallway for several months. I really enjoyed orchestrating this event and wish I had more time to appreciate the many other staff that valet park our patients’ cars, help us make appointments, dispense and clean our instruments/materials, help keep our school clean, etc. But I suppose there’ll be such opportunities in Iowa!

My mom’s youngest sister came to visit from Argentina. Flying into and out of Richmond, I had the joy of hosting her for several days. Along with spending some time in the city sightseeing and shopping (neither of which I find much reason to do independently), I really enjoyed relating to her educational journey as an international college student in Los Angeles and now a mom of twins and teacher in Buenos Aires, Argentina. Her adaptability and reluctance to take on a single nationality and all that comes with it also resonated with me. I look forward to a time when she might again visit (perhaps that time with her husband and sons).

The annual Lent kick-off at FMC Richmond is its traditional Bread Service, where each unique bread stands for a theme that is linked to a scripture and a person’s story. It has been very special to share these stories and breads with the congregation for four years.

Two colleagues and I hosted the first (hopefully annual) CMDA Richmond Women’s Retreat to which women from various professions and experience levels shared about their experiences as female Christian healthcare professionals. FMC graciously hosted the event and I enjoyed cooking for the group and enjoying good fellowship into the afternoon.

As a member of the Board of Directors for the Mennonite Healthcare Fellowship, I hosted a breakfast roundtable for healthcare professionals at FMC Richmond to allow space for them to discuss their experiences as Christians in healthcare and how MHF might support them. The 14 people that gathered seemed pleased with the fellowship and provided great input.

Dr. Ed and Debby Read, the long-standing Richmond CMDA advisors who have just resigned from this role to develop a half-way home for struggling women presented a special session to the group titled “Pedaling in Tandem,” reflecting on their marriage as a healthcare couple and lessons on serving one another in marriage (using their several years of experience of riding on a tandem bike as an example). This couple has been a substantial anchor for me throughout dental school and I was offered a blessing by them at the senior dinner at the end of April.

It’s hard to believe that during the time I was deciding whether to pursue a career in dentistry I had calculated that my nephew would be 7 years old when I would be finished. The precious boy had his 7^th birthday (where did the time go?!). Though I’m not quite done with my dental training, I’m glad we both reached the milestone.

I was honored to share lunch with the Dean of the School of Dentistry and his wife as their endowed awardee, receiving the inaugural scholarship they created to encourage dental students in research activities and an interest/potential in academia. I was surprised by the award as I had not applied for it but was grateful for the honor 

The Eshleman family has been a bridge of support spanning professional and congregational involvement.

The surreal conclusion of my dental training (which has felt like a whirlwind of tying loose ends and planning transitions) has compelled me to reflect on my experience during the past 4 years. Various awards recognizing endeavors that I didn’t necessarily feel encouraged to pursue (or was even challenged for pursuing) make me question how I fit (or stretched) the mold of being a dental student. In an anthology on vocation that I’ve slowly waded through during the past year, one of the authors talks about the diverse ways in which we might describe our own stories and suggests that it is not so much the choices that we make but rather what we make of those choices that helps us tell our story in healthy and meaningful ways. The best word that I can use in hind sight to describe the choices that I have made as a dental student is prodigal. To me, this adjective suggests two useful meanings. The exact word describes spending resources freely or being recklessly extravagant. The root of the word—whether by linguistic intent or coincidence—is also that of the word prodigy, which describes one endowed with exceptional qualities or an amazing/unusual thing that is out of the ordinary course of nature. The tone of this discussion is not one through which I’d like to take deep pleasure or satisfaction in my achievements but rather that which may reflect on reality in the mood of the philosophical essayist Ecclesiastes (7:8) as he suggests “The end of a matter is better than its beginning; a patient spirit is better than a proud spirit.”

So let’s take the latter word, prodigy, first. It did not remain a secret for long to those with whom I worked closely that I began dental school at age 19…My tight-knit alma mater had written on several occasions about this (December 2011, October 2012, January 2014) and the large university from which I have recently departed also took public notice (May 2016).  The novelty even spread to the Richmond Magazine and recruited a deeper explanation (June 2016), as I moved away from the city. I can’t deny that my path has been a bit out of the ordinary and expedited compared to my peers, but I have also sought to understand my unique trajectory in a way that portrays deeper meaning. I was prompted to capture a bit of this after a peculiar dream about which I wrote at the start of the year for the church newsletter that I was tasked with editing for a term (February 2016). With all the citations referring to this term, I will not further dwell on its relevance.

I enjoyed spending the weekend with three kids of friends who were celebrating their 10^th wedding anniversary with a trip. All the routines (including making a special Russian crepe breakfast) were great fun but show the overwhelming responsibility of childcare, particularly as a single parent.

It was such a treat to see the same young lady for the 3^rd year (the previous two years the fearful child had 4 primary teeth extracted each year; this year, we restored 4 of her permanent molars with a much improved tolerance of the treatment and a visible improvement in her oral hygiene). I continue to be a bit conflicted about my outlook on short-term service trips but can affirm that partnering with a single organization for many years improves some of the shortcomings of routine short-term trips. Because some of the same communities are benefiting from the Richmond CMDA spring break teams each year and these families otherwise have little access to dental or medical care, it is suggested that health records be made to track their care as we already are doing in this young lady’s case and others. Beyond providing any necessary care, the relationships developed with the children’s home and surrounding communities during the past 4 years that I have had opportunity to join have been very encouraging for my development as an oral healthcare professional.

I had been house-sitting for some friends for nearly 3 months at the start of the year and was commuting via the highway to class. Once back in my usual home, I was elated to be back on my bike. I realized that the Richmond I have come to know and love is that which I’ve learned while mounting a bicycle. This helped encourage me towards not having a car in Iowa City, where much of my academics and clinical commute is feasibly by bike, foot, kick-scooter, or public transit. I’ve wondered if this somewhat limiting factor might also encourage me to invest in fewer responsibilities (or at least more intentionally on the local scale).

FMC Richmond arranged a special Maundy Thursday service that consisted of singing (leading Mennonite hymns has been a highlight of my time in the congregation), scripture reading, hand-washing, and a simple meal that concluded with communion.

We celebrated my mom’s 50^th birthday a bit early as I would be out of the country when her actual birthday came around. Her cheerfulness and skillful hosting made our celebration of her a delight.

Regarding the word prodigal, I believe that it describes in part the way in which I have approached the opportunity of obtaining doctoral level education in dentistry. I have lavishly “spent” the platform to develop my skills, experience, and network in the specific niches of the field of oral health about which I am most passionate and in the trajectory towards which I anticipate moving forward. This striving to balance developing as a competent and compassionate oral healthcare professional with pursuing a well-rounded experience to inform who I already am and who I aim to becomes was not outlined within the curriculum, so one can imagine the sometimes awkward ways in which I reached beyond what seemed to be the priority in my professional development. Lest I keep on repeating myself without gaining much more clarity, I’ll recruit several quotes from a book I’ve read recently by Tracy Kidder (Mountains Beyond Mountains) about Paul Farmer, a doctor who had similar determinations about his career development (even if more exaggerated than my own):

“Medical education does not exist to provide students with a way of making a living, but to ensure the health of the community. Physicians are the natural attorneys of the poor, and the social problems should largely be solved by them” (pg 63).

“Farmer was probably fortunate—certainly he thought so—to have done some work in anthropology and medicine and public health in Haiti before he studied those disciplines at Harvard. He had a gift for academic pursuits, but Haiti ensured that his taste for them would be limited” (pg 84).

“Early on certain professors at the medical school had taken a shine to Farmer and licensed his unorthodox habits of attendance. And, as the years went on, they and others would protect him from the enemies and rules of academia. Lives of service depend on lives of support. He’d gotten help from many people” (pg 108).

“It seemed to me that he didn’t have a plan for his life so much as he had a pattern” (pg 260).

“This [doctoring in remote Haitian huts] matters to him, I think—to feel, at least occasionally that he doctors in obscurity, so that he knows he doctors first of all because he feels it’s the right thing to do…If you do the right thing well, you avoid futility…Doctoring is the ultimate source of his power, I think” (pg 295).

“There is all the difference in the world between passively witnessing misery and witnessing people at work trying to relieve misery” (pg 308).

The CE conference for which I helped with logistics and ran two research surveys was held in Marathon, Greece—the famous city of the battle against the Persians after which a young man ran to Athens (the distance of a marathon) to tell of the battle’s victory (“nike”) and died right afterwards. I don’t think it’s as well advertised that the day before, this young man had run to Sparta and back to ask for help from the Spartans (this distance was at least twice that of a marathon).

Changing of the guards at the executive palace of Athens.

Visiting the Acropolis (that I mistakingly called the Colosseum at first!) put some of my Biblical and Western understandings into perspective of their ancient sources.

An island boat tour to enjoy the weekend in Greece.

This island has such a steep elevation gradient that only mules/horses are used to transport people/goods.

Beautiful Greek island landscape with poppies.

Though the conference center was on the shore of the sea, I only got to dip my toes in on the last afternoon.

It was heartening to find resonance with the above quotes while I grappled with creating a more integrated account of my dental school experience. Like Farmer, I did not enter the health professions for the comfortable salary or esteemed quality of life; I was attracted to the opportunity to take part in all the intricate but usually solvable problems (of both individuals and communities) within which oral healthcare might utilize my participation. My health professions training was primed by an undergraduate foundation that informed both intellectual and vocational pursuit in the way that my individual actions contributed to the common good, affirming the worldview in which I was raised in scholarly and professionally practical ways. Both my 4 month internship in Honduras and Peru and applying for and receiving the National Health Service Corps Scholarship immediately prior to beginning dental school defined the scope of dental training that I would seek. I don't deny that I enjoy and am fairly successful at scholarly pursuits, though I usually crave practical application to meet specific oral health needs--especially those of vulnerable populations. Within the first semester of dental school, I acknowledged that I would no longer be the “straight A” student that I was accustomed to being if I was going to pursue other activities that I felt were important to my professional and personal development. Shonda Rhimes, in her talk titled My Year of Saying YES to Everything, questions, “If the song of my heart ceases to play, can I survive in the silence?” She describes a certain hum that sounds when she’s fully enjoying her work and claims that at these moments “you can’t help but strive for greatness at any cost.” Being at least somewhat aware of this kind of hum throughout my first year of dental school and recognizing the need for a pivotal decision to sustain it, I took solace that following summer in a song that echoed the motivating source of my choices (those I hoped would lead to a meaningful career). Though the song titled, The Summons, lingered at the forefront of many daily tasks for several weeks, I am glad to have preserved a particularly still moment when it dominated my thinking on a rainy June evening walk (the pattering of the rain and song of the birds in the recording help me re-join my almost-D2 self under the umbrella). I knew that I was already knee deep in the start of a prodigal trajectory to my training and the song authorized my courageous persistence in it. The bolded words of the lyrics below stood out to me especially:

The Summons—by JonBell

Will you come and follow me if I but call your name?

Will you go where you don’t know and never be the same?

Will you let my love be shown, will you let my name be known?

Will you let my life be grown in you and you in me?

Will you leave yourself behind if I but call your name?

Will you care for cruel and kind and never be the same?

Will you risk the hostile stare, should your life attract or scare?

Will you let me answer prayer in you and you in me?

Will you let the blinded see if I but call your name?

Will you set the prisoners free and never be the same?

Will you kiss the leper clean, and do such as this unseen?
And admit to what I mean in you and you in me?

Will you love the you you hide if I but call your name?

Will you quell the fear inside and never be the same?

Will you use the faith you’ve found to reshape the world around?

Through my sight and touch and sound in you and you in me?

Lord your summons echoes true when you but call my name.

Let me turn and follow you and never be the same.

In your company I’ll go, where your love and footsteps show.

Thus I’ll move and live and grow in you and you in me.

The retirement of Dr. Eshleman from his part-time career at the dental school was celebrated in conjunction with senior send-off activities.

My mom and niece prepared some Russian sweets to bring along to Richmond when I came to pick her up for the weekend.

My mom and I had a grand time preparing a Russian meal for about 100 people to thank the congregation, faculty, and community acquaintances that have supported me throughout my dental school tenure.

After the long day of preparing for the gratitude luncheon, my two moms (foremost and my adopted Richmond mom) and I enjoyed gelato that had become a Richmond favorite for special occasions.

Participating in VCU Gerontology's PALETTE Program, an intergenerational arts course, I enjoyed getting to know my partner Mami and learning various techniques like weaving, print-making, sewing, embroidery, and then showcasing our work.


During my sister's Nurse Midwife clinical rotations at VCU, we enjoyed catching a meal or cup of coffee between clinical responsibilities, sharing more tangibly in our professional development.

I’ve been so fortunate to meet and befriend Swati, a dentist from northern India who also worked in the microbiology lab where I had the good fortune of working at the start of dental school. Swati and I share many interests in health disparities and lifestyle choices and decided to remain sisters even as she enrolls in the International Dental Program in Richmond and I transition to Iowa City for Residency. Her friendship had increased my comfort with traveling to  the region near where her family still lives.

Thus, I negotiated with my “star-student” self a standard for being able to treat my future patients well, whether or not the grading criteria represented this. I reluctantly and uncomfortably learned to be content with experiencing a new position of being the “average” or “above average” student as far as the grading scale was concerned. It was fairly fortunate that several professors and colleagues outside of the walls of my academic institution recruited my interests, expanding my learning community and the positive feedback that I could receive in ways beyond academic rank. My clinical group leader fairly quickly recognized my strong work ethic (that I was fully present and busy when on campus and took leave only to present at professional conferences or go on service trips) and supported my co-curricular and extra-curricular endeavors within the capacity of his position; he was very pleased to mention during my last semester of dental school that the little busy bee in his group was the top revenue producer of the class and had set a new record for the pre doctoral clinic’s history, both despite being away from campus for more sessions than any other student. One professor once observed that I “march to the rhythm of [my] own drum.” I am relieved that this rhythm had yielded some comforting results to both me and my overseers—namely that I had indeed developed into a competent and compassionate clinician (my intentions were always earnest but positive outcomes weren’t necessarily guaranteed). Pursuing various partnerships in research, service, and leadership locally and abroad without the aim of gaining attention or approval, I quietly found personal affirmation and meaning in my unconventional scholarly pursuits both when they were challenged as well as when they were tolerated (or recognized by various awards as is the case at the conclusion of my dental training).

Thus, when I consider my choices, I fully own them (both the wise ones as well as the extravagantly foolish ones). They have led me to explore, learn, fail, despair, achieve, rejoice, question, discover, and above all develop professionally and personally in ways I never could have imagined or planned. Recalling Ruth Chang’s TedTalk on How to Make Hard Choices, I write the story of my own life when I confidently represent what I stand for and what kind of person I aim to become by choosing each step of a distinct pathway with reasons that come from inside of myself rather than those imposed on me by others’ expectations.

A song I had encountered at the beginning of the final year of dental school (another pivotal moment when I needed to discern the next step to follow graduation) helped me to be more bold with my decision to pursue residency training in Dental Public Health and Geriatric & Special Needs Dentistry as a continuation of the kind of career which I’d already begun in dental school. Several people during my time in Richmond have nicknamed me “the amazing Lyubov,” so it was appropriate that the song was titled “It’s Amazing.” The music video definitely suggests a vocational slant to the song (words that stood out to me especially are bolded):

It’s Amazing—by Jem

Do it now, you know who you are

You feel it in your heart and you’re burning with ambition

But first wait, won’t get it on a plate

You’re gonna have to work for it harder, and harder

And I know, ‘cuz I’ve been there before

Knocking on the doors with rejection

And you’ll see, ‘cuz if it’s meant to be

Nothing can compare to deserving your dreams

It’s amazing, it’s amazing

All that you can do

It’s amazing, makes my heart sing

Now it’s up to you!

Patience now, frustrations in the air

And people who don’t care; well, it’s gonna bring you down

And you’ll fall; yes, you will hit a wall

But get back on your feet and you’ll be stronger and smarter

And I know, ‘cuz I’ve been there before

Knocking down the doors, won’t take NO for an answer

And you’ll see, ‘cuz if it’s meant to be

Nothing can compare to deserving your dreams

It’s amazing, it’s amazing

All that you can do

It’s amazing, makes my heart sing

Now it’s up to you!

Don’t be embarrassed, don’t be afraid

Don’t let your dreams slip away

It’s determination and using your gift; everyone has a gift

Never give up, never let it die

Trust your instincts, most of the time

You have nothing to lose, so just go for it!

It’s amazing, it’s amazing

All that you can do

It’s amazing, makes my heart sing

Now it’s up to you!

As I packed and moved my possessions, I was saddened to return the loaned hymnals that have spoken challenge and encouragement into my life as I have led congregational singing and joined the chorus within a fellowship of those striving to faithfully live out the image in which we were created. Removing the church and house key from my keychain left just my bike lock key and makes me reflect on the level of belonging that I was offered with access to the two doors.

Last Lewis family outing for gelati...memories of the outings for celebrations, during snow storms, or simple quiet summer nights will be cherished just as the yummy treat remembered. 

Sharing a final meal after the dental awards ceremony at the Tobacco Company in Downtown Richmond made me remember the first meal I shared with Dr. Bob Eshelman in Richmond 5 years ago in the same restaurant when he invited me to consider VCU for dental training as we already shared an undergraduate alma mater. His support, encouragement, and example as a pillar of the dental profession and our institution will always be valued. As the endodontist who first piqued my interest in dentistry quotes a mentor of his when he suggested he could never repay him, “I don't expect you to; just pay it forward.” 

Being interviewed by Dr. Todd Kitten as part of the admissions process and returning to his office that afternoon to receive counsel regarding my interest in research started the rich experience I’ve had working in the Kitten Lab for a span of about two years, where I learned from a “guide on the side” rather than “sage on the stage” about scientific integrity and collaboration, critical thinking and innovation in the experimental process, and how to effectively present outcomes. Though I don’t amount to much of a bench top scientist, I hope to stay in touch with a good friend and mentor whose patient smile supported the entirety of my dental school tenure.

My dear General Practice Group 1...celebrating our journey.

I'm so glad my parents were able to attend the hooding ceremony as the one's who made it all feasible!

Avoiding traffic and parking challenges during the VCU-wide commencement ceremony, it was most suitable to deliver my dental school diploma and depart from the ceremony on the bike that had faithfully carried me to and from class/clinic nearly every day.

Co-celebrating my graduation with my sister's hooding ceremony in Nurse Midwifery.

Spending a final weekend with my parents and family in the Shenandoah Valley, I traveled with a stop in Indianapolis to my settle new home, Iowa City. The welcome sign makes me smile when it suggests describes the region with the phrase, “Fields of Opportunities.”

I’ve traveled to Texas only a few times but have encountered this beautiful scene at least twice. Both times, I’ve encountered the panorama by surprise after a nap. All the warmth and inseparable blending of colors elicits a response of awe in the divine resemblance. The previous time I felt this heavenly embrace was in the midst of a very challenging semester of dental school. Seeing and experiencing the same affection as I leave one life phase and embark on another makes tangible the unfailing love and faithfulness of my Creator.

I’m glad to have had the opportunity to participate in a friend’s wedding between moving to Iowa City and departing for India. She credits me for bringing her along to the CMDA Convention last May where she met her spouse and I chuckle at how unpredictable and coincidental such profound intersections often are.

After over two days of traveling, I finally arrived in Manali, India where my host/mentor family offered a lovely welcome dinner before we left the next morning for two weeks of medical/dental camps in the rural northern regions of the Himalayan communities.

I can certainly deny having arrived at any comfortable conclusion to the trajectory I began in dental school, though I have tried to coherently trace its development to this point. I can only conclude as I began to say that humility is better than pride, just as the end of dental school than its beginning. I enjoy the stillness of South Asian culture during a one month term to properly reflect on a passing phase of my life and remain encouraged by the aforementioned song and all the ways in which I’ve grown since singing it that rainy evening.