Fear into faith

I pass this question every evening on my way home from school. It appears in an alley behind a church; it seems like 'of the dark' has been whited out. It is a useful question to ask when I consider my faith.

Daily passing Byrd Lake, especially at sunset, helps puts the days into perspective.

The middle of the fall semester has arrived and I begin to understand what upperclassmen meant by saying that the second year of dental school is the most challenging. There are plenty of exciting things going on for extracurricular groups that I'm passionately involved in, so I can fully admit gambling with my academics and will move to managing and balancing these interests instead of denying the existence of risky equilibrium. When folks inquire how I am doing, I have begun to reply that there is plenty for me to enjoy and plenty to complain about but that I am chugging along and trying to stay jolly. I will not be a student forever but speculate that opportunities to spread myself thin will exist indefinitely. I hope I can transition into utilizing the power of a positive 'no' as I establish my career and adult life. Speaking of which, I will finally be eligible for a horizontally-oriented driver's license at the end of this month! Some of my thoughts these weeks have thus been reflective on the passing of another year of my life and what might come to be. It is always easy to slip into anxious fear of the future when pondering possibilities, but I think these are exactly the opportunities that allow our faith to develop and grow. Below is a Russian song with translation that has been on my mind and encourages me to complete my 21st year and enter the next one with peace and confidence.

It was fun to imagine what the next ten years of my life might be like, considering dental residency programs and my dental service commitment in an underserved area.

My General Practice Group with our lead attending faculty.

The Inter Health Professional Alliance executive team after a breakfast meeting. It's been such a great experience to lead such a comraderial group of professionals! I hope these networks will be sustained into the future of our careers.

1. Нашей жизни суета бесконечна и пустаОт забот мы устаём, что-то ищем, что-то ждёмГод за годом, день за днём.Ты пролей свой дивный свет, на вопросы дай ответ,От Тебя совета жду и оставив суету,Я к Тебе с мольбой иду.

Припев: Помоги мне устоять,Как бы больно жизнь не била,Помоги мне мудрой стать,Дай мне, Бог, добра и силы.Сохрани прошу, мой Бог,От жестокости и боли.Помоги мне не забыть,Что на всё здесь Твоя воля.

2. И за всё в своей судьбе благодарна я Тебе:За надежды и мечты и за то, что рядом Ты,Бог Любви и доброты.Ты по жизни проведёшь, ты услышишь и поймёшь.Вновь оставив суету, от Тебя совета ждуИ к Тебе с мольбой иду.

The "Pensive Christ" carving I brought back from my Lithuania study-abroad experience in 2010 keeps me company at my desk. I DO wonder what he ponders over at times...

We wove our active commitments for a unified congregation into the "Circle of Faith" during a weekend church retreat. It has been such a blessing to share my current journey (as well as take part in theirs) with those with whom I reunite for weekly Christ-family reunions!

How encouraging a quote!

Translation:
The vanity of our lives is endless and empty.
We tire of tasks, seeking and awaiting something
Year after year, day after day...
Shed your divine light!
Grant answers to the questions!
I'm awaiting your direction; leaving all vanity
I come to you with my plea:

Help me to stand firm, no matter how hard life hits.
Help me grow in wisdom.
Grant me, God, goodness and strength.
Protect me, I ask, my God
From cruelty and pain.
Help me not forget that Your will exists for everything here 

For all that is in my destiny, I am thankful!
For the hopes and dreams and that You are near,
The God of love and goodness.
You will lead me through life,
You will hear and understand me.
Again, leaving the vanity
I seek your direction and come to you with my plea.

It was fun to repeat last year's 30 mile route in the Valley.

Sun, my classmate, and I offered a series of duets for the Friends of Dental Education appreciation dinner. I thoroughly enjoyed the experience but am a bit perplexed about how draining and almost soul-deadening professional social events end up for me. I can't pin the adverse effect to one causative factor and wonder if I will suddenly find these events enriching once my professional identity is more concretely formed.

I enjoyed a trip up to Carter Mountain in Charlottesville to pick apples. I look forward to preparing applesauce with a group this Sunday for use during the church's CARITAS homeless housing ministry in several weeks.

So much of the fallen fruit simply over-ripens, gets trampled, and eventually decomposes. I wonder how I might move from considering it a waste to valuing the beauty of the processes in their nutrient-returning capacities for the soil.

So I move forward, meeting possible fears by allowing them to strengthen my faith, because "we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." -Romans 8:28 NIV