On dreams and detours

It's a shame to see that nearly half the year has passed since I last posted a reflection! Nonetheless, I offer photos and reflections to capture a bit of the meteoric semester that has buzzed by. In looking back at the diversity of events and looking ahead to what might be, I conclude with a comment on dreams and detours that we each experience on our journeys.

My "vertical buddy" and I exchange a dental cleaning and check up before the winter break. I will miss her but know she has begun a great dental career as a recent graduate. It is hard to believe that I will also be approaching this step in less than a year!

I had the opportunity to revisit Iowa City, Iowa for a week. Interacting with faculty and students in the dental public health and geriatric/special needs dentistry programs made the reality of my participation in the programs starkly evident. 

Baking Christmas cookies with my host in Iowa made me feel right at home.

Riding 10 hours from Iowa City to Vermillion, SD to visit a childhood friend, I took advantage of a 1-6am vigil-like layover at the Omaha, NE Greyhound station to reflect on my semester and visit in Iowa City. While I awaited my friend in Vermillion, I enjoyed visiting the National Music Museum.

Many unique instruments are housed in the National Music Museum. Eastern cultures seem to have the most ornate instruments. 

During long lay-overs or while otherwise waiting in a foreign city, I have found that libraries are fairly welcoming to wayfaring vagrants like me. Sharing the warmth of a fireplace with the homeless on a wintery afternoon in Vermillion, SD is a pleasant memory from the trip.

Pausing to admire the river on our ride from Nebraska into South Dakota.

There may not be much traffic in South Dakota, but ranchers' herds require yielding.

Beautiful sunsets on a beautiful landscape in western South Dakota

Before I was dropped off to catch my Greyhound bus back to Chicago, my friend and I picked up a puppy--a Christmas gift for her boyfriend.

Another layover in Omaha, NE on my way home.

Exploring a downtown shop in Omaha, NE

The quote seemed appropriate for my winter break journey on airplane, Greyhound bus, bike, the metro, and relying on hosts' transportation.

Though traveling in the Midwest for a week before the holidays was fun, cycling around my childhood hometown was very settling as I continued to process impressions from the trip.

The beautiful outskirts of Harrisonburg, VA

Making Papusas with my Salvadoran sister-in-law (I haven't perfected the technique of making the cheese-filled tortillas as circular and can't tactfully flip the tortillas with my bare fingers like her, but enjoyed making the yummy holiday meal with family).

A conference at Sandy Cove, MD welcomed me for a second year to reflect on MLK weekend what my faith means as I continue developing as an oral healthcare professional.

Focusing around "the road to Emmaus," a group of Virginians gathered to discuss how to best understand and engage youth in spiritual formation towards claiming their faith.

My first Ash Wednesday markings--I especially enjoyed this excerpt from a litany:  Let us be marked not for false humility or for thinking we are less than we are, but for claiming what God can do within the dust, within the dirt, within the stuff of which the world is made, and the stars that blaze in our bones, and the galaxies that spiral inside the smudge we bear (Jan Richardson).

A February trip to Boston gave me an opportunity to reflect back on November 2013, when I first presented at a professional meeting in the city.

Exhibiting for the AADMD as president of the student/resident committee, I was encouraged to encounter so much interest from colleagues all over the nation attending the ASDA annual session. 

I was glad to locate this cafe despite all the pedestrian detours amidst plowed towers of snow to jot down some of the below reflections.

Reflections from the Thinking Cup on 2/19/15:

One year and three months ago, my numb toes and blistery heals found refuge in this cafe after wandering in North Boston on a chilly November mid-morning. The day prior, I was a first-time presenter of a poster at a professional meeting, and I pondered into what realm this opened my world. This unsettling question accompanied me as I joined the poster’s co-author on a quest to secure some famous cannoli's from Mike’s Pastry shop. I didn’t feel at all qualified to have been selected for the presentation; rather, I felt as if I had been scooped up and accidentally placed into an experience with which I wasn’t sure what to do, as one would feel with etiquette at the banquet of a formal dinner in a foreign culture. I did feel a sense of vocational resonance with the other 13,000 participants of the meeting around the vast topics of public health. I’ve since had opportunities to learn the customs and language of the scholarly sphere and feel a bit more in place; nonetheless, I still wonder what shape the initiated trajectory will take and if I will ever feel less drained from all the pomp and circumstance by which professional organizations tend to function.

Just as the landscape of North Boston has changed a bit, necessitating that I wander though 4-foot-high snow banks carved out to allow one or two people to file through, following pedestrian detours around where snow was left uncleared, I feel that the landscape of my career/vocation also appears different and continues to encourage small detours. Feeling bookbag straps digging into my shoulders as my back sustains the load of my laptop, flyers, pens, and a banner for exhibiting a national organization--the student/resident committee for which I’ve found myself serving as president--I ponder all that I’m balancing and juggling as I meander amid the snow drifts of my dental training. As one who has a tendency to overload on groceries or any packing/unpacking endeavor to take one less trip back to the car, I wonder what will encourage or enable me to defer the next great opportunity and decide not to wonder which stepping stones lie beyond the step not taken, believing that an easy yolk will suffice. I acknowledge and am thankful that I am not blessed with blinders to focus on a single endeavor as are many of my colleagues, but I also desire to develop the skill of pulling in the reigns to sustainably and effectively navigate my career in a way that makes life meaningful for those on whose behalf I expend energy as well as respecting my own life with good stewardship. 

Pausing to enjoy a hot beverage on this chilly morning, I echo the question several of my mentors/superiors have asked--some with suspicion and some with authenticity, “What IS it that you want to do?” Some have heard me stumble through a litany of my interests and growing experience in public health and geriatric/special needs populations, and others have pushed me to explore further in considering a future in academia, clinical practice/research, non-profit administration, or a form of ministry. There’s no denying that I have an interest and pull towards each of these and I can even imagine a reality that conglomerates a career including each component, sequentially or simultaneously. Hearing others’ hopes or well-wishes for my future, I wonder whose story I am to pursue and live out. Feeling the strain from these perceived expectations and responsibilities as I strive to engage in a process that I hope is faithful "vocational discernment,” I commit to incorporate the experience of Sabbath into my explorations, recognizing that it is not up to me to restore all the brokenness that I encounter; but perhaps that I should rather embrace all brokenness and walk alongside as healing and restoration take place. Aiming to be led by the reality of an abundant "enough" to share rather than a competitive self-dependent scarcity, I let go of my craving for expected outcomes or mileposts in a career. Pursuing an alternative narrative, I hope to cultivate a sensitivity to tugs that enables me to be a better neighbor, enriching life where it is lacking. In all of this, I recognize that it is in my yieldedness and humility that I am able to acknowledge the sovereignty of a greater life-giving purpose working in and around me for the common good.

Serving over spring break in El Salvador for the third year in a row has convinced me that Latin America has had a substantial influence on my development as an oral healthcare professional.

Our welcoming dinner at La Casa de Mi Padre was catered by "The Taco Man," whose sauce was blamed for a previous group's bout of traveler's sickness for the first part of the week. Thankfully, our group was careful to evade the inconvenience. 

An international, interdenominational congregation in downtown El Salvador is pastored by the director of the children's home with which we partner.

After bravely tolerating several extractions as his little brother watched, the older sibling was still willing to offer a smile.

Visiting La Finca ("the farm") onto which the children of La Casa will move with their host families once the homes are built (permits have finally been granted by Santo Tomás, the local governing city, after many years of negotiation and following cumbersome local and national protocols).

 A Pupusería, making cheese (and other ingredient)-filled tortillas on a large scale.

Our dental dream team.

Visiting Puerto de la Libertad's El Tunco ("the pig," referring to the animal-shaped boulder on the shore) beach on the last day before departing, we built an elaborate sandcastle.

Equivalent to KFC chicken, Pollo Campero is a favorite fast food treat, delivered by moped and even specially packaged for transport back to the USA via airplane (makes for a savory plane ride back).

 I had the opportunity to interact with a child from La Casa with autism whose care and education I support with a monthly contribution. One of his care takers inspired me to continue my commitment as she expressed gratitude for experiencing his unique challenges and progress on a daily basis.

Following are several informative comments that I've received during the semester:

One of our service trip mentors reminded me of the limits that we have to place on services for each person and commented, “Here’s your problem: You’re heart’s bigger than your body.” Though a mix of admiration and rebuke, I found the comment encouraging and continue to wonder how true it may be and how I may need to develop such a trait into a more sustainable form.

In a similar tone, one of my classmates suggested, “You stay so active…you put too much pressure on yourself,” to which I responded that I really do enjoy that in which I engage but that some have better barometers than me to gauge self-preservation and comfort.

In a supportive tone, one of my attending faculty offered, “You put your heart into serving others; there’s no mistaking it…you can’t fabricate that!” I thanked the mentor, acknowledging that this is my aim, but wish I had taken the chance to somehow represent that I am only seeking to faithfully disciple after in the example of Christ, who expressed God’s self-giving love for each of us in human form.

With a hint of concerned rebuke, I've heard, "I hope you’re not over-extending yourself, are you?” To which I have admitted gambling with sleep and a perfect GPA as fair tradeoffs for the opportunities in which I’ve enjoyed being engaged.

In suggesting how I ought to develop in my dental career, I wasn't sure how to receive, “It’s not good to be set too far apart from your colleagues; they won’t relate to you and won't appreciate you.” I nodded and voiced my understanding and appreciation for the comment but yearned to proclaim that it is not praise and honor that I seek but that I hope to celebrate any outcomes that may come to be beyond ascribing them to my own merit.

A repeated comment that elicits a more profound pause takes the general form of “There’s no doubt that you will do great things/succeed in any career path that you choose, but…” and here is a list of suggested modifications that would make my endeavors more conventional or less conspicuous.

Our Easter weekend exodontia team in Charlottesville, VA.

Celebrating my mentor and faculty's 80th birthday with a surprise party with our clinical group.

 I wasn't expecting to receive an award at the poster session at this year's Clinic and Research Day but was encouraged to hear positive responses to the three projects to which I contributed.

Attending a youth ministry council in PA, I had the chance to hike to a summit along a small waterfall.

The overlook at the top was well worth the climb, both with its vast expansive view and overwhelming sound of bare or budding trees swaying in the wind.

The youth ministry council was focused on bringing the topic of race into our work with youth; we were asked to write the name of an individual that has experienced injustice on the basis of their race on a stone and place it around the periphery of the visual. I surely confirmed how important it is for us to be intentional about acknowledging and affirming diversity in the midst of our faith communities.

Attending the "premier dental public health meeting" in Kansas City to present two posters, one project of which received honorable mention for the student community dental public health award, I tried to envision what belonging long-term to this tight network of dental public healthcare professionals might be like.

Receiving honorable mention for a student community service-learning initiative at the National Oral Health Conference and meeting other awardees and colleagues during presentation of the project was encouraging.

Offering a second poster describing the workforce building initiatives of the Virginia Oral Health Coalition towards improving access and oral health for individuals with disabilities helped identify and connect with advocates for this population from the dental public health network.

Easter Sunday lunch with a family that has meant so much to me during my tenure in Richmond!

In muddling over some of the afore-mentioned well-intended insinuations for my immediate and long-term future, I've found the following song resonating.

Whispers (<--link), by Passenger:

Well I’ve got open eyes and an open door, but I don’t know what I’m searching for. I should know by now

Well I’ve a big old heart. This I know for sure, but I don’t know what my love is for. I should know by now.

Well, I wait in line so I can wait some more ‘till I can’t remember what I came here for, I can’t leave now. ‘Cause I've a light that shines and a love so pure, but I don’t know what to use them for. I should know by now.

….Everybody’s filling me up with noise, I don’t know what they’re talking about! You see, all I need’s a whisper in a world that only shouts.

After finishing up my third year of dental school, I traveled to Chattanooga, TN and was hosted in a lovely ~200sqft carriage house that stands on the porch of a group home for four women with varying intellectual/developmental abilities.

The Orange Grove Center enthusiastically hosted me for a week-long Clerkship in Intellectual/Developmental Disabilities. I indeed felt very welcome!

The gymnasium offers a statement regarding the universality of happiness. The center studies and advocates for joy in individuals with intellectual/developmental disabilities along the whole spectrum of life.

The cafeteria manifests the Orange Grove Center's mission: "To recognize, support, and celebrate the qualities of the individual."

One of the Center's participants manages the DJ station in the cafeteria during lunch to keep the environment very pleasant and lively.

A modified handicap sign is exhibited on the doors of the Orange Grove Center, indicating the active willingness to allow individuals with disabilities to indicate when and how others can assist them.

One of the first dental patients of the day, a woman with Williams Syndrome (often exhibiting "elf-like manifestations"), received a crown preparation and impression. Upon completion of the procedure, she had to show me how she "boogied" with her stuffed animal to the boom-box music that can be turned on at the entrance of the Center's dental office. The clinical environment was a delight to experience.

Old rail cars are repurposed as  hotel rooms to commemorate Chattanooga's history of being a major train station stop.

The stationary rail cars have become a city landmark and flower garden, open to visitation by the public. 

The historic Chattanooga Choo-Choo hotel

 Dave, a man with quite a few limitations, came to visit the Center with his day nurse on my last clerkship day to dispense his "Dave's Random Acts of Kindness," an initiative of the coalition devoted to studying and advocating for joy in individuals with disabilities.

During my comprehensive clerkship, I noted that each professional engaged in the center truly experienced a sense of meaning in their work. Talking to the healthcare professionals specifically about the trajectories of their careers,  I sensed that they were both better clinicians and happier people, overall, in their current settings, working with a population that many would consider an undesirable exclusive clientele. Despite the often uneasy, seemingly insignificant, or circuitously futile nature of their work, I hope to one day find my own niche that would allow me to be the best clinician, healthcare professional, and person that I can be.

My father's 50th birthday celebration offered a time for friends and family to reflect on how quickly time passes and the unpredictably marvelous trajectory of life journeys, propelled by (even if not fulfilling) our dreams and goals.

For nearly a year, I have been in conversation with Change the World RVA regarding serving as a house host and mentor to an at-risk highschool-graduate/college student. The opportunity has not come together as planned but I have enjoyed getting to know the organization and its participants.

An Occupational Therapy student and I hosted a workshop for the Change the World RVA after school program. For the dental portion, I was delighted to receive many questions about oral health as we went over oral hygiene and nutritional best practices. They also enjoyed hearing about dentistry as a career and were excited to learn about my NHSC Scholarship and seek more for themselves.

A Memorial Day Weekend morning hike (or stroll) through Belle Isle preceded a cookout lunch that I hosted for several young adults from our congregation.

Reflecting on all the events mentioned above and considering thoughts and conversations that have spread throughout the semester, I wonder about the place of dreams and detours in the trajectory of one’s life and vocation. Acknowledging my inaccurate perception of future consequences of current choices (often guided by my dreams/goals), I suppose that the purpose of my current interests is to propel me into a direction that most often turns out much more suitable than I could have imagined. Adding the phenomenon of detours into this context, I resolve that dreams serve as the detours that faithfully direct us in our life journeys.

Preparing to lead a workshop at the Global Youth Summit in July titled, "The Gift of Vocation: receiving and sharing our calling," I have been reading an anthology titled, "Leading Lives That Matter: What We Should Do and Who We Should Be." Below are some excerpts that have stuck out as I start to delve into the topic:

"If there were any such morally exceptional individuals, however, what made them different from the rest? It can only have been this, --that their souls worked and endured in obedience to some inner ideal, while their comrades were not actuated by anything worthy of that name. These ideals of other lives are among those secrets that we can almost never penetrate, although something about the man may often tell us when they are there" ("What Makes a Life Significant?" by William James)

"How I suffered to see so many people assuming the right to tear open the doors and shutters of my inner self....As one who demands that idealists should be sober in their views, I was aware that every venture down an untrodden path is a venture that looks sensible and likely to be successful only under unusual circumstances...Anyone who proposes to do good must not expect people to roll any stones out of his way, and must calmly accept his lot even if they roll a few more into it. Only force that in the face of obstacles becomes stronger can win. Force that is used only to revolt wastes itself" ("I Resolve to Become a Jungle Doctor" by Albert Schweitzer).

"My self is not one voice struggling to be heard but a medley of voices that sometimes sing in unison, sometimes in discord. More important still, we continue to define and discover our identities in company with others. Identity formation is a collective project...There is a certain way of being human that is my way. I am called upon to live my life in this way, and not in imitation of anyone else's. But this gives a new importance to being true to myself. If I am not, I miss the  point of my life, I miss what being human is for me... We are expected to develop our own opinions, outlooks, stances to things, to a considerable degree through solitary reflection. But this is not how things work with important issues, such as the definition of our identity. We define this always in dialogue with, sometimes in struggle against, the identities our significant others want to recognize in us...We will need relationships to fulfill but not to define ourselves...Defining myself means finding what is significant in my difference from others...Only if I exist in a world in which history, or the demands of nature, or the needs of my fellow human beings, or the duties of citizenship, or the call of God, or something else of this order matters crucially, can I define an identity for myself that is not trivial. Authenticity is not the enemy of demands that emanate from beyond the self; it supposes such demands" ("The Ethics of Authenticity" by Charles Taylor).

"But much the commoner type of success in every walk of life and in every species of effort is that which comes to the man who differs from his fellows not by the kind of quality which he possesses but by the degree of development which he has given that quality" ("The Vigor of Life" by Theodore Roosevelt).

"Our career becomes a place where we hide from others, and especially ourselves. On the basis of these and similarly errant motives, we can convince ourselves that we are qualified for certain careers, while what led us to choose those careers had very little to do with our particular gifts or the human needs around us...The assumption behind these recommendations is that discovering God's will for one's life is not so much a matter of seeking out miraculous signs and wonders as it is being attentive to who and where we are...In coming to know ourselves and our situation, we come to know God's will" ("Making the Match: Career Choice" by Lee Hardy).

I look forward to continued preparation for facilitating the workshop on vocation and myself considering the topic as I think about a future after this short final year of dental school!

Sustaining my song...with the help of a few soundtracks

I pause to acknowledge that half my third year of dental training will be complete in a week! As my 22nd birthday came to pass several weeks ago, it began to dawn on me that I have just 18 months left in the dental training chapter of my life. As I flipped through past entries on this weblog (particularly the unrushed reflections during my internship in Latin America) I was amazed at the tenacity with which those experiences have been guiding my pursuits since. I aim to seek meaning in my efforts (rather than comfort) but often question my intentions when met with competing interests or situations that elevate values towards which I do not strive. It is encouraging to know that my past experiences are subconsciously supporting my purposeful ventures. Especially during weeks that seem to spin on fast forward with circuitous efforts, I've found the below tunes relevant and hope you'll enjoy the snippets that have stuck out to me. Included are also photos from the past months' endeavors.

The Dean of our dental school stopped by my poster during the ADA/DENTSPLY Student Clinician Research Program poster presentation competition at the San Antonio, TX American Dental Association meeting in October. It was a privilege to represent VCU and meet dental student researchers from other dental schools. The alumni of SCADA (many of whom are prominent dental researchers or clinicians) were also a pleasure to interact with.
I have thoroughly enjoyed the experience of microbiology research and presenting at professional organizations. What a fortunate thing it was to have Dr. Todd Kitten (my stellar PI) interview me at a time when I was an avid undergrad researcher seeking to continue scientific inquiry while a dental student!

Father and Son (Cat Stevens): I was once like you are now, and I know that it's not easy to be calm when you've found something going on. But take your time, think a lot. Why, think of everything you've got. For you will still be here tomorrow, but your dreams my not. <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vdMPuMeTxzY>

Two classmates (with one of whom I share a diploma from EMU) received notice of the NHSC Scholarship Program award this fall. I am very pleased to have NHSC colleagues in each class and hope that we motivate others to commit the beginning of their careers to providing care to underserved populations!

Dying to Live (Yusuf/Cat Stevens): So I'll keep fighting to live till there's no reason to fight. And I'll keep trying to see until the end is in sight. You know I'm trying to give, so c'mon give me a try. You know I'm dying to live until I'm ready to die. <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yq8BJX0GhgI>

I celebrated my 22nd birthday at the Halfway House (historic bed and breakfast between Richmond and Petersburg) with two who I've come to relate to as my adopted grandparents (though also mentors and good friends).

Answer For (Jon Troast): When you feel like you're unstoppable...and what's done is done. When someone tries to define you with their own intentions, do I need to remind you to pay no attention? Don't worry if it isn't true, cuz' the only one you're gonna answer for is you. <http://www.amazon.com/Answer-For/dp/B0054DP15W>

Know So Much (Jon Troast): Seems these days, there so much to remember, always something on your mind. So many things to do, but chasing after them, you're running out of time. You don't need to know so much, you don't need to do it all. The world is an open door, sometimes it feels more like a wall. You're trying to hold it up, and I'm waiting for it to fall...you don't need to know so much. <http://www.amazon.com/Know-So-Much/dp/B006PL4QJY>

Beignets, a traditional New Orleans donut treat

Over This Mountain (Jon Troast): I've been walking since I knew how, didn't know what for. I've lost track of the steps I took, but I keep taking more.
Somewhere over this mountain, I'm gonna find a place to land. When I've walked through this valley, I'm gonna hold up my hands. And when I'm standing on the rock that won't let me fall, I'll say, "Oh my, oh my: look at it all!"
Some people try to bring me down; they say it's just a dream. But I'm not listening, cuz' I still believe!
I've been taking steps for years now, my feet are tired and somehow I need to rest my mind. Something's waiting for me...standing on the shore of the world (that I can't seem to find).
Somewhere over this mountain, I'm gonna find a place to land. <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A73wwEwzSvM>

The Longest Time (Jon Troast): Nobody has ever been too ready for something that meant the world. Nobody is ever prepared too much waiting for something they love.
So she waits by the window, keeping her lamp lit every night. While all the shadows dance, she keeps staring at the door. Until one night it opens, standing before her in the light: the one she was waiting for, questions her, "Were you expecting me?" She says, "For the longest time!"
Why won't she find some sort of remedy so she won't have to hold on? Does she know something that we all don't. Is she sure that he's coming home? <http://www.amazon.com/The-Longest-Time/dp/B001A5WHJQ>

Boris Lushniak, the acting surgeon general, reflected on his parents' journey from Ukraine into New Orleans. The opening session of the American Public Health Association challenged the thousands of public health practitioners gathered. When Hubert Humphrey was quoted, I was reminded why I felt so much in step with what APHA stands for: "The moral test of a government is how it treats those who are at the dawn of life, the children those who are in the twilight of life, the aged; and those who are in the shadows of life, the sick, the needy and the handicapped." There aren't too many places that will encourage one to nurture your passion and link it to a purpose as part of developing a career.

Isabel Wilkerson reminded us of the racial caste system that had been an accepted norm of the American South for so many years. "Citizens had to flee their birth land to be recognized as citizens of their own country...they were seeking political asylum within the borders of their own country." She suggested, as one theme from her book, that a moment of departure and a migrational journey are at the heart of each young person's existence.  

A prominent and devoted member of the Oral Health Section introduces presenters during one of the sessions. I realized that I missed treating patients in the clinic while away for three days but also hope to stay connected through research and scholarship to passionate professional organizations like the APHA to rekindle my inspiration to improve oral health for all, particularly the vulnerable.

Deep Breath (Jon Troast): There is a song inside of me: gloria, gloria. I sing it every time I breath: gloria, gloria.
Take a deep breath, remember the feeling. The miracle lies in the fact that you're breathing. The harder you try, the more you're just doin' your own thing. Why don't you relax, not get something done. Feel every breath as it fills up your lungs. Each one is a gift: take every one in the moment.
Look in the mirror. Stare at your face. I'm sure there are things you wish you could erase, but if they weren't there it'd still be your reflection. Cuz' nobody else has a face like yours. Without speaking a word, it says so much more about being unique; baby, it's all there for a reason.
Well, I can't help but sing with every breath...it's not what I do, but who I am that says it best.
When you think what defines you is your line of work; how much you get done determines your worth. You feel like you're running in circles for no good reason. Look in the mirror and smile at yourself; take a deep breath and hope that it helps you stop for a while: know that you're loved as you're breathing! <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R1D5-K5blvY>

As I napped during my flight from Texas to the east coast, I opened my eyes to this sight. During the several seconds that I was reorienting myself in time and space (feeling somewhat of an urgency to do so), I also captured a sense of comfort in the ambiguous here and now, letting the warm colors of the sky keep me still in the moment. I was reminded of a recent suggestion that physics has come to prove the relativity of time and space, hinting at God's omnipresence and that we are to experience him in all things, everywhere. In The Spacious Heart, co-authored by a former instructor from my alma mater, Don Clymer affirms that "the present is where the temporal meets the eternal; we find God in the present. This makes the present holy. This is why it is important to be present to the now, to the holy, to God" (pg 59-60). I was grateful to experience that moment of comfort as I journeyed from a conference that left many unsettling impressions and back to midterm exams amidst a busy semester.

Not This Battle (Jon Troast): I wasn't made to fight, not this battle: it's just hollywood (a ballgame) not the things that matter. Like the orphans and the widows, the crippled and the crooks...they need me more than the TV (home team) ever could.
I spend all my energy on stuff that won't affect a thing. It's time for me to stand up and step into the rink! Cuz' I was made to fight, but not this battle... <http://www.amazon.com/Not-This-Battle/dp/B001GU8Q6S>

As I assisted with a community Thanksgiving dinner for the Church Hill Activities and Tutoring program, I continued to ponder how I might offer my daily living (not just clinical practice, research, or scholarship) in service. I have been considering a renting arrangement in Highland Park for the past several months in which I'd serve as a host/mentor to a high school graduate in vocational school or first two years of college through a local program called Change the World RVA. The discussions may become reality at the turn of the year or in the coming spring.

Vienna (Billy Joel): But you know that when the truth is told, that you can get what you want or you can just get old.
Slow down, you're doing fine. You can't be everything you want to be before your time.
You've got your passion, you've got your pride, but don't you know that only fools are satisfied. Dream on, but don't imagine they'll all come true. <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oZdiXvDU4P0> 

Movin' Out (Billy Joel): And it seems such a waste of time. If that's what it's all about..Mama, if that's movin' up, then I'm movin' out!
..You can pay Uncle Sam with the overtime. Is that all you get for your money? And if that's what you have in mind...Yeah, if that's what you're all about, good luck movin' up, cuz' I'm movin' out! <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8buJ2-oD02E>

Traveling to Harrisonburg after morning clinic the day before Thanksgiving was a a bit more interesting with the heavy flurries. I enjoyed sledding with my nieces in the 6-8 inches that my hometown received for the holiday weekend.

Storm Comin' (Wailin' Jennys): When that storm comes, don't run for cover...no, there ain't no use in runnin'
When that rain falls, let it wash away...the tears and trouble
When those lights flash, here that thunder roar...let your spirit soar
When that love comes, open up your door...stand on love and let it in
When that storm comes, don't run for cover...cuz' you can't keep a storm from comin'!
<https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OguVb3uSZTs>

Spending time with family (especially quickly-growing nieces and nephews) made for a wonderful pre-exam break!

After a week of clinical rotations and exams, I look forward to visiting University of Iowa's Dental Public Health and Geriatric/Special Needs residency programs to gauge my fit as an NHSC Scholar. I am also excited to visit a childhood friend who moved to Nebraska in the past year...I supposed it better to visit her in blizzard weather than tornado weather : )

Along the side of the road

The fledgling I had tossed to the grass in the morning had made its way back to the side of the road.

The semester continues to steadily march onward! Here are a few snippets collected from the past few months:

It was a foggy and misty spring morning, just the kind you’d expect after a night of studying for final exams. As I prepared to make one of the sharpest turns of my commute, a fledgling bounced onto the middle of the road, just ten feet in front of me. My first instinct was to swerve my bike to avoid the bird, but in several seconds, I was making a round-about turn back to the helpless creature. Stopping in the middle of the road next to where the fledgling had landed, I got some funny looks from cars that rode around the peculiar scene. Scooping the bird up with a few twigs, I wondered what I ought to do with the misplaced creature. I had an exam to go to and couldn’t devote the day to understanding where he came from and how to resolve the dilemma. Placing the fledgling to a grassy spot 50 feet from the road where I found him, I continued my commute, hoping that it would remain there until my ride home in the evening.

I passed through Byrd Park and made my way to a back street paralleling the interstate. Approaching the assisted living facility along my route, I spotted a middle-aged African American whose greeting I’ve come to anticipate. Between 6am and 6:45am, he takes his morning smoke. Unless the weather is a lot cooler, he typically dresses in a white t-shirt and either sporty sweat pants or jeans. When he notices me approaching about 50 feet away, he often stretches his arms out in a star-fish pose and booms in a deep voice, “Gooood Morning!” In a different setting, his demeanor would suggest that he was a retired football player or lead basketball coach. I wave and offer a morning greeting as I ride on by, while he remains with his hands stretched out; I’ve wondered what might happen if I stopped to engage with my friend beyond a greeting...Would I try to resolve the mystery of why a seemingly healthy adult is residing in an assisted living facility? Would I simply respond to his star-fish pose with a bear hug and be on my way?

Upon my ride home that evening on a slightly different route, I encountered my morning greeter walking from one of the corner shops with a black bag in hand, which I assumed contained a supply of cigarettes that his pension allowed. He was very displeased with an old lady who slowly made a turn without allowing him to walk across the street. Making a somewhat intimidating advance at that car, he made his way to the other side just as I passed by on my bike. I did not want to show my discomfort with his frustration and signaled a greeting without looking at him by lifting up several fingers from my handlebars as I rode onward.

Reaching the bend at which I encountered the fledgling that morning, I spotted it dangerously close to the road, scrunched up as if it was cold or dehydrated. Horrified that it would only take a foot or two before a car could easily run over the bird, I parked my bike near the tree to which the fledgling likely belonged and wondered what I’d do. There were two dead adult birds on the side of the road, one of which had similar markings to the fledgling, making me assume that this bird was on its own for survival. With a little resistance I scooped it into my backpack using a twig with some leaves and rode home to give it some water. Spending an hour or so researching how to care for birds in this situation, I was discouraged that I may not find a definitive solution to the problem. Feeding it some more water, I resolved to return the bird to its original vicinity and let “nature take its course.” After all, I had a pharmacology exam to study for and couldn’t let fledglings falling into my path distract me.

 

The top of Esperanza Health Center boasts a great view of the city of Philadelphia

City Hall displays this plaque...the wish of the city's fore-fathers

Several weeks later, I visited a faith-based health center in Philadelphia, rooming with a nurse and dentist from the clinic who both lived in a rough neighborhood near the clinic. They told me about the rowdy 18-year old who seemed to constantly be at their house. They had met him when he fell out of the top story of his house and needed medical treatment. Since then, he’d considered himself adopted by the clinic and the two women. His interactions with them suggested a deprivation of attention and sense of being valued. They hoped that his deficit of feeling cared for would eventually become filled so that he could understand how to care for others.

Spending the evening in the Kensington neighborhood, I realized that the presence of drugs was what sustained the community, both economically and socially. As I headed out of the district on my car the next morning, I realized that it was not difficult to spot drugs being sold on one corner and administered on another. Even amidst this unpleasant reality, I valued the presence of people on the sidewalks, greeting one another, and children playing on the dusty streets. As I stopped at an intersection, I noticed who I thought was a teenager lying on the sidewalk, barefoot. I wondered if his parent would be concerned but realized within 30 seconds that this individual was an adult who was under the influence of some substance. He would get up from the ground, make a few incoherent steps, grip his head with both hands, and trip over to end up even closer to the street. Looking around to see if others were responding to the scene, I assumed that this was a normal occurrence. Hitting the lock button on my car door, I anticipated the stoplight turning to green so that I could continue my departure from the dusty and bewildering city.

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Shakespeare might have been on to something...

These road-side encounters have made me wonder about Jesus’ itinerant ministry. He routinely interacted with strangers on levels that society had refused to. Jesus was also known to notice the sick and respond to them with healing as he traveled onward. I wonder what this might mean for us today as we participate in a fast-paced society that seldom facilitates unplanned encounters.

One author describes discipline (and he’s referring to the spiritual disciplines) as the way of creating space for God to do His work. As we commit our lives to be kingdom-builders, let us have eyes to see and ears to hear those that we encounter along the side of the road.

A speedy spring semester

I can hardly believe that I've not posted since February!! I feel as if I've been living in fast forward for the past five months and will flip through some moments from the spring that have been captured along the speedy route.

My lovely General Practice Group (GPG) during our White Coating Ceremony...it's been great to share the daily ups and downs of clinical practice with these colleagues and friends as we have transitioned into full-time clinical patient care

Part of the El Salvador dental team...It was wonderful to see some of the same patients and continue supporting the local initiatives that occur between our service trips

I brought back several beautiful art pieces from San Salvador

Cycling to school on frosty mornings were made cozy with a grandmother-made hat : ) 

East Richmond is a sobering region to cycle through

Collaborating with an Occupational Thearpy student, a classmate and I presented an oral health workshop at an assisted living facility in a struggling part of town

Meeting for a dental-OT workshop during which we exchanged discipline-specific information relating to caring for special needs populations, we realized the necessary interprofessional collaboration that caring for these complex individuals requires...we hope to continue this partnership in future semesters 

I completed my term as president for the Inter Health Professionals Alliance and am looking forward to staying on the executive team and am eager to see how the organization will continue to expand its initiatives 

Signs of spring were very encouraging in the uphill half of the semester

The capital in bloom

A friend had tagged along for the afternoon's pediatric dentistry lecture

My extraordinary mother sent me a Russian Easter loaf (Пасха)

Unexpected and sudden spring showers made for exhilarating commutes

Making mud-pies with my token nephew on a spare weekend

Between tests during final exam week, I participated in a Service Learning Institute and appreciated how effectively academic-community partnerships have the potential to work